Where do you live

The fiance and I are getting married in a church here in Morgantown. We originally had these grand visions of an outdoor wedding (I was hoping to maybe do it at Unadilla or something, and maybe even have the groomsmen ride down the aisle on bikes, you know, something really classy) but in the end, it was just too hard to get that together. A church has all the elements: looks decent in photos, good parking, places to sit, even comes with a guy who can do the whole marrying part.

God knows all, but even the secretary at the place had to be suspicious of our motives. Oh, you coincidentally are all into this church thing at the same time you're getting married? Really?

The church wasn't going to make it that easy. As a requirement, they enrolled in this couple's counseling deal. They told us the counseling helps to determine what parts of the marriage we had to work on. But we were afraid the "counseling" was really just a way to snuff us out. Were we really getting married here for religious reasons, or did we just want a place with nice windows and a built in sound system?

We were really worried for the first meeting, and our fears where confirmed when the Reverend brought out this standardized test for us to fill out. It was just like the tests you took in high school - multiple choice questions, fill out the circle with a number two pencil. We've both been through this drill before. But the SATs never had a question this hard:

#9. Describe your living situation:

A) Alone
B) With roomate
C) With parents
D) With partner

How do you answer this in church? The correct answer is D, but that's living in sin. I could answer A and she could answer B, because a few months ago that was the case. But would they know we're lying? This is God we're talking to!

So I dug deep into the memory banks of such tests. I've been stuck for an answer before. How did I used to get out of this? Cheat! So I figured I would just skip that question, give the Fiance time to answer it, and then glance over at her paper and copy it. So I waited. A minute later I looked over. Dammit, she had left it blank as well

The Reverend was watching us closely through this process, and he surely noticed we both somehow decided to skip the most basic question on earth: Where do you live? Who can't answer this question???

Earlier in the session, the Reverend had asked for our address, so I felt things out and said "Hey, she's moving some stuff in slowly, should I just put the same address for both of us? Doesn't that make things easier?" The Rev. agreed and on we went. So I took the plunge and answered D) with partner. Whew.

The problem was, I looked back over and the Fiance had answered B) with roomate. Dammit!

When the Rev. had his back turned, I slyly began erasing my answer and switching it over to A) alone, so it would match her B) with roomate response. But that damn no. 2 pencil wouldn't erase. Now I had a giant smudge on the paper, proof that I couldn't even answer the most basic question on earth.

Surely the church wasn't pumped about people living in sin. Surely they would be even less pumped over liars living in sin. But now, we were liars living in sin who didn't even agree with each other. Might as well just apply for the divorce papers right now.