Tuesday, April 1

Canada Heights

Toronto is cool because we can actually road trip it from Morgantown--it's about the same distance as Detroit, making it about the closest Supercross race to home. Unfortunately, our road trip skills have faded a bit lately, with Olympic beer-drinker Dave Brozik working in Florida for the winter, Mike "Fubar" Farber only working 2 out of every 3 races, and photog Matt Ware getting all chicked up, as we say, and not attending as many races. Even DC hasn't run as may events, since he has baby #2 now and was probably spending some time on this whole NPG/AMA/DMG deal. And I'm engaged, which should cut back on the road partying skills. But hey, fame is fleeting in the love business. One day you're the guy getting married and the next time you're the guy getting caught cheating at the U.S. Open (it didn't stay in Vegas).

So this year's rotation included me, "Bad" Billy Ursic and Andy Bowyer. DC let us use the company Toyota Tundra (biiig brakes. ummm, beefy). Problem was, the truck is owned by Toyota and has California plates, which aroused some suspicion when we drove across the boarder on Friday. The goal is to NEVER let the Canadians know you're at a race for work, because rumor has it they will tax you on the income, or even worse, try to produce paperwork to find out why they didn't have a Canadian do the job. In may case, I guess I was taking announcing work away from Brian and Trav from the insane Canadian Nat's shows on Speed. I feared the interrigation. "Mr. Weigandt, can you prove to us that you're able to scream "holesheeeeaaaaaaatttt" better then a Canadian?"

In fact, last year Ware and I drove in, and when they saw Matt had like 10 g's in camera equipment, and three boxes of motocross magazines and posters, but wasn't going to Canada for business, they got suspicious. We actually had to get out of the car and stay in a room while they checked the car without us watching!

I was determined to play it cooler this time. Even though we had a company vehicle that Toyota owns, we were NOT coming in on business. I reached back into my archives, summoning the acting skills that powered me to the lead in my high school musical (a good ten years before there was "High School Musical").

"Who owns this vehicle, sir?"

"Actually Toyota does. Here's the registration."

"So this is a company vehicle? How did you get it?"

"Through work."

"What do you do?"

"We work for a magazine."

"A magazine? How do you have a truck then?"

"We traded it for advertising."

"And what's the name of that magazine?"

At that point I needed the acting skills to kick in. No way in hell did we work for a motorcycle mag. I quickly started thinking of a magazine title. I thought that Toyota may advertise in an outdoor magazine. All I needed to do was think of a fake title for an outdoor mag. What's out there? Outdoor Life? Field and Stream?

"Sir, the magazine is, Outdoor...Stream."

OUTDOOR STREAM!!! I said we worked for a magazine called Outdoor Stream!!!

He believed it and let us go.

"The magazine


Anonymous said...

I had to subscribe to OUTDOOR STREAM until I came across that Saw Palmetto treatment.....


Reese said...

Awesome! That was funny man. Keep the Canuuks guessing! haha

ian and kate said...

haha! that's hilarious! i've heard way too many stories about crossing the border into Canada. They questioned my father and his friends because their bikes were still muddy coming back to Michigan from racing in New York. Why? Just because they could. Thanks for the story to make my day better!

Kreative said...

A few years ago I drove to the Canada to pick up a CRF450R, and almost did not make it back to the US. Here are my highlights...

"What are you doing here?"
Buying a motorcycle.
Right over there. The dude's supposed to meet me in 15 minutes.
"How do you intend to pay for this motorcycle?"
I have 5000 in cash.

That was mistake #1. Number two was just as moronic.

"Do you have any ID?"
My driver's license.
"Were you born in the US (probably asked cuz of my dark summer tan)?"
No. I was actually born overseas while my pregnant mom was on vacation.
"Do you have a passport?"
Why would I need a passport? This is Canada.
"Step out of the car."

Two hours later after being interrogated about my job, what I do, why I do it, who my boss is, they let me meet the CRF seller. But turning around was another story.

The moron border guard guy would not let me pass back into Washington because he needed proof from someone at Honda that my bike - the one with big knobby tires and the sticker on the rear fender which read something along the lines of "not highway legal" - was indeed not highway legal. Why he needed to know this still stumps me.

"Japan is closed," I told him. Obviously not wanting to wait for Japan to open, the customs clerk let me through.

T-Square said...

dude, you are suppose to cheat before you get engaged, that way you won't keep wasting money on rings

Marc aka heimjoint said...

(In best REEEDDDDDDD BUUUUUUUUDDDD voice) ...WEEEEEEEEEEEEGE... Make sure Bowyer gets a shot and tell Billy that I never got a report out. Unacceptable.

Admittedly, not the most epic weekend. Must wipe that one off the books, and what do you know...D-town awaits. Who's in? I promise not to get you in trouble with the betrothed. Cheers, eh?